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Komorebi

I circle the bike just shy of the turn-off near the end of my route, unwilling to go home quite yet. The ideal shade of dusk is quickly ripening to perfection. A few more laps, and then I'll set back for home.

The breeze picks up slightly, as my legs blend with machine. The pavement syncs to the unseen rhythm of my lifeblood, throbbing throughout a vein that connects us all. An interlocking pattern of organized chaos spews before me, behind me only air. I am propelled forward by kinetic energy, willingness, and my hearts urge to pump more.

I burst through the intersection, approaching the beautiful two story house nestled on the street near the two overlapping trees whose fingers gently brush through each other's hair. I race under the lovers and am cheered on by their amorous rustle. I pass by pristine manicured lawns (and wonder how they find the time), situated next to overgrown lots (and ponder why they couldn't make the time). I stop for a brief water break at the lau…
Recent posts

Comportment

This is dedicated to all my so-called “friends.”You’ll know if you’re one, if the description fits.There is nothing you can do to make amends,It is past time that we call it quits.Where were you when my house flooded? You promised to do anything to helpBut never followed through, instead you stunted,You must have been thinking of only yourself.Alone and abandoned is how I feltOverwhelmed by something which I’ve never dealtFacing the aftermath of a delugeNeeding to turn to my friends for refugeBut one-by-one they mostly fadedI wanted to speak up, but not wanting to seem jadedBuried my feelings of betrayal and lossUntil they hung around my neck like an albatross Where were you in my struggle?Can’t you recall all the times I was there for you?All the late night calls when through tears you would bauble? The times I picked you up and helped you feel brand new?Could you not have done this for me, too?Those times when you were at your lowestAnd I sat by ensuring that you wouldn’t harm yours…

Richard Simmons - America Needs You.

In case you might not know, Richard Simmons has been missing for over three years now. He was last seen in public on February 15, 2014. Why is this a big deal? Well, for starters, Richard was very active both in his career and also in the lives of others. He served as a mentor for countless individuals on a very regular basis, and one day he simply walked away from it all without a single word. He did not show up to work one day, he stopped accepting visitors and phone calls, and he wouldn't respond to texts or emails. This was a radical change in behavior, and THAT is why this is a big deal. [For more details, and I highly suggest that you do read these and even listen to the podcast devoted to finding Richard Simmons as it will supply the details that I have left out, go here and here.]


Richard Simmons went from being an active exercise instructor who integrated himself into the lives of those he served (including a woman from out of state, whom he called every Sunday without fa…

Mathophilia

What I love about math is that it is merely a set of steps that you take*. These steps have a specific order. Once you understand one step, then it remains in your arsenal forever. You will always understand that step, and now you can build upon it.

All math is basic, if you understand it.

I understand math, but I do not know much about it. What I mean by this, and I often see this illustrated with my students, is that I don't always call the math terms by their proper names. For instance, I don't tell my students, "we have a trinomial here..." Instead, I tell them what it is. I say something like, "Okay we have three terms here with addition and/or subtraction - what do we do?" (I never tell my kids what to do - unless they're stumped - I always ask them to tell me). On occasion, a student will say something like, "my teacher calls it another word. Tri - something. Tri-factor? Tri-numero?..." I'll tell them, "Yes, this is officially …

Torpor

I have been trying to write this blog for over a week now, without success. If I do publish this version, I won't even consider it a success or an accomplishment but rather a meager attempt to put the unspeakable into words.

I have been struggling lately with a specific feeling that I coined in my youth the "Gypsy feeling" - mainly because in those moments I often felt tempted to pack up everything I had and move, in an attempt to escape from the feeling or to drown it out with action.

Quantifying this feeling has always and continues to pose a significant challenge.

I feel listless, yet restless. I feel stagnant, like I'm not making any forward progress. I would not classify this as depression, although it has many of the same symptoms, mainly because I do not feel sad, over emotional, or weepy. Instead, I often feel nothing. There is apathy present, certainly. I know my daily and weekly responsibilities, I know what I need to do and what I have to do in order to re…

2k16 Recap

Those who pay attention will know that this will be less of a recap and more of a list of things I learned last year. I do realize we are 19 days into 2k17, but my tardiness is less a reflection on my punctuality (or lack thereof) and more a testimony to my frame of mind. You see, it was hard for me to let go of 2k16.

Whoa. But wasn't 2016 a terrible year?, you ask. Yes, indeed. Indeed, it was. However, there were so many things left undone or unsaid, and so many questions unanswered. It was hard for me to let go.

Let go I must, and I am. Below you will find a list* of things I learned this year (in no particular order), followed by prose highlighting what went right in 2k16 (another reason why it was hard for me to let go).


Closure and letting go are wonderful, healing acts.Water can be a devastating force.Distance does make the heart grow fonder.The majority of the world has succumb to the shadowed mind. This is the only way to explain how anyone can think that their idea/way/race…

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas 🎄 🎁 🎅 💞
Wishing all my readers a wonderful day filled with joy, laughter, and abundance! 

Pictured: Mel & Noah with Copiah (nephew) & Alice (neice).

Pictured below: Mel & her immediate family.


A Call for Awareness

Update: This was written from a place of deep grief. I have since received all the answers I sought. I now know there was nothing I could have done. I have closure now, and I am pursuing acceptance. 

I drove out to your house today, half expecting you to be cooking veggie chili like we had planned. I have your Christmas gift in the car - Harry Potter Clue. You would have loved it! We would have pigged out on veggie chili and played a game or two. But, instead, you weren't home. Your car was there, but you aren't there. You are not here anymore. I sat on the sidewalk, crying, and petting Pinkie through the fence. Who will care for Pinkie now that you are gone? I looked around for The Brain, but he was probably off somewhere doing cat things. It is still so hard to believe that you are gone. You were the fourth suicide in this small town in the past week. You were so loved, and I wish I would have done more to make sure you felt that love.



Over two years ago, I became concerned …